Noah's Mutant Squad

Trouble in Freesboro
Vote Meatloaf

Freesboro Town Mayor Bilious Thomspoon is a friendly meatloaf with a great personality. That alone did not get him elected to his esteemed office – he also has an impressive head of hair. The citizens of Freesboro all agree that he has the best hair in the whole town, and so, he is Mayor.

Mayor Thomspoon saw some gold once when he was a child. He smells delicious. He would buy Spitfire’s small robot in exchange for a stupid horse, and his big robot in exchange for a smart horse. (It is probably the same horse.)

The Mayor makes a speech. “Bad guys are trying to open a dimension and really mess with the good town of Freesboro. We need you heroes to go give them what for!”

Booster Pot, the town journalist who is paid in batteries (for his digital camera) is nominated by the mayor to join the group.

Spitfire, who has apparently been playing too much Skyrim, sneaks around the back and climbs on the roof. Nobody knows where he went. Then… he comes back.

Greased Lightening goes looking in barrels and finds apples.

Skull Duggery spent the night in the jail. He is released and ordered to remain awesome.

Bored, the Mayor smacks one of the group’s time skeletons and it wanders off down the road, the other skeletons and horses follow.

“Onward adventurers!” Hollers the Mayor. “To adventure!”

Halfway to MedCen the party finds a bunch of Porkers digging a big hole. A ball of feathers with bird heads sticking out of it squawks and quacks angrily at the party, and the Porkers yell at them to back off. A fight breaks out. The party of adventurers teleport around all over the place, firing freeze rays, swinging force axe and blowing stuff ups.

The two remaining Porker Lashers lay down their chain weapons and surrender.

Porker 1:
“We didn’t sign up for this! Our Leader Gengis Tangh is crazy. He’s been messing with some kind of weird dimensional gate up in the PungCo building in the MedCen ruins. Going on about some sort of ancient evil he wants to unleash from this kooky medieval dimension. There’s a stepped pyramid, flying feathered snakes and a weird hissing voice of some dude with a long name. Lots of X’s in it. Toxalotylax or Rataxalotyl or somethink.”

Porker 2:
“Gives me the heebie jeebies.”
Says the other porker, shuffling away from Skull Duggery’s Skull Guitar.

Porker 1:
“Gengis Tangh is nearly through the door into the dimensional gate chamber. He got the first half of the passcode to the door, but he can’t work out the rest. He’s been going bananas about it. We’ve been digging this hole just to get out of there for a bit.”

Porker 2:
“It’s that hissing voice, whispering at him all the time. I don’t like it. You guys should stop Gengis. He reckon’s the voice will help him take over Freesboro. I reckon the voice is bad. It’ll take him and take over this whole Gamma World if it gets through that gate.”

Porker 1:
“We can’t stop him. We’re porkers. He’s one of us. You have to do it.”

Porker 2:
“Yeah. You guys are heroes. We’re just Porkers, we eat and smash things. You guys are the only ones who can get there in time to stop Gengis from letting that weird thing out to wreck the Universe.”

Porker 1:
Shaking his head. “That’d be bad.”


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